counting my blessings

i left home today hating my mum, hating my sis, hating my family and hating my life.

then as I was waiting for the train at the station, i counted my blessings. Literally.

1. I like my surname. It’s special, it’s uncommon. CHIAM is awesome. Not every tom dick or harry is born with a surname that impresses people. If i were to throw a stone on the streets, chances are I would hit a Tan or a Ng? *shrugs* no offence though.

 

2. I’m not ugly. I may not be the sexiest or most gorgeous lady in town but I would like to believe I’m not an ugly betty.

 

3. I have friends. Think about loners who have nobody to confide in. I have friends whom I can emo to, bitch to, whine to. I enjoy being alone at times, but I enjoy the company as well.

 

4. I have a boyfriend. In fact, he’s cute. I’m not like some desperate bitch waiting for a man to pick me up on streets. I’ve a great companion (though he’s in Japan right now).

 

5. My limbs are intact. I’m not athletic or voluptuous but I’ve proper body structure and I’m healthy. I do complain about my flabby arms but I’m glad my body is still classified nearer to lean than obese on a scale.

 

6. Oh yeah and this just popped up. I’ve a lesbian bugging me for web cam and cyber-you-know-what activities since god knows when. I take that as a compliment. I’ve sex appeal. To somebody at least, I don’t care if she’s a girl or shes desperate. I’m flattered and well yes, disgusted.

 

7. I meet nasty people but there’s always enough nice people for me to believe in the world. (:

 

Just skyped qy and I’m sleepy. goodnight world.

I love you, boyfriend ^^

Just another pms post

I used to complain about how she neglected me no matter how much I tried to get her attention. And then somebody I lost told me I’m just like her. I neglect people. I neglected peilin for work. I neglected Eileen for work. I neglected Mel for work. I neglected him for work? I guess. No matter how much i try each time to salvage it’s never enough. Don’t read on. The last thing I want is more people to judge me.

I wished I had rich parents. I wished I had a mum who showered more love on me than money. I wished to have a shoulder to lean on whenever. I wished to feel important to somebody. Just at least one somebody.

Why issit that everytime I feel blessed, it’s shortlived? Why do I have people who are always unhappy and quarreling around me? Why do I always have unhappy issues with people around me? Why am I such a jinx. Whenever I say fml trust me I mean it.

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i got the answer i wanted.

 

but not the ending.

you gave me an answer that lit my hope once again when i was about to give up and you left me hanging there.

thank you.

 

maybe if i am not that important afterall, i should not waste my time waiting anymore.

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought
“Hey, you know, this could be something”

‘Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I’m left with nothing

So maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one

I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes
The way you taste
You make it hard for breathing

‘Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything’s okay
I’m finally now believing

That maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone
And I’m thinking two is better than one
Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, “Hey,”

maybe it’s true
That I can’t live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
And you’ve already got me coming undone

And I’m thinking
I can’t live without you
‘Cause, baby, two is better than one
There’s so much time
To figure out the rest of my life
But I’ll figure it out
When all is said and done
Two is better than one
Two is better than one

(:

i know your status was referring to me.

What can i say? If you’ve made a decision to leave me and our friendship behind. You’ve sentenced me.

I do not plead for forgiveness because I know that the fault lies with me. I do not deny any responsibility for our friendship to end up in this state. I’m ashamed and I do not want to face it. Yes I’m weak.

Since you’re determined to let go of the relationship we had and I do not see how I should have the cheek to face you again.

I go speechless *shrugs*

 

 

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a house is not a home

A chair is still a chair
Even when there’s no one sitting there
But a chair is not a house
And a house is not a home
When there’s no one there to hold you tight,
And no one there you can kiss good night.

A room is still a room
Even when there’s nothing there but gloom;
But a room is not a house,
And a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart.

Now and then I call your name
And suddenly your face appears
But it’s just a crazy game
When it ends it ends in tears.

Darling, have a heart,
Don’t let one mistake keep us apart.
I’m not meant to live alone. Turn this house into a home.
When I climb the stair and turn the key,
Oh, please be there still in love with me.

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